The Fine Art of Being Vulnerable in Stories
How to create emotional impact without burdening your audience
Vulnerability is rightfully -thankfully!- a beautiful quality we are learning to appreciate. Sharing our authentic stories brings us closer to ourselves and to others.
Yet there’s a subtle difference between being vulnerable and emotional off-loading.
The first touches people and creates genuine connection. The second burdens them.
As a storyteller, the way to get around this is by doing what we call “the work”.
- Go slow. When I decide to tell an emotional personal story, my first agreement with myself is to slow down. I let it percolate. I trust the mysterious recesses of my psyche to deliver their magic outside the constraints of rushing. I am watchful for whatever is happening in my life and how those story threads may be showing up. Timing is everything.
2. Use images. I break my story down into key pictures. Think of these as scenes.
Stories work in picture language — that means images, which is how our psyche speaks to us.
I attune to each of those images and pay attention to what happens internally. What is happening in my inner landscape? There may be sadness, anger or fear. I spend time with all the feels. Perhaps I feel numb, which prompts me to inquire further.
Little by little, I clear away any unresolved emotional charge that’s still in me.
3. Craft your story. When I’m no longer in the grip of an emotion, I’m better able to assess what the story actually is. The story will have changed shape and come forth in a new light. I can now work on powerful craft aspects such as beginnings, endings or thresholds that will give my story depth and impact. Running it by a trusted friend always helps.
I know I’m done when I can tell my story with appropriate feeling. This means that when I share my story, I leave my audience free. I’m not putting any sticky emotional baggage on them.
I am still vulnerable — because I have allowed myself to feel the emotional depths of the story, my audience will feel that. They may be touched. They may find resonance with an experience in their own lives. The resolution I found may inspire them to find their own.
This is the storyteller’s responsibility. To show up vulnerably and touch our audiences, yes — and to leave them free to make their own connections.
For a powerful example of this, listen to Hannah Drake tell the moving story of her visit to Senegal, the last port for departing slaves, discovering her mother was a cotton picker and tracing the roots of slavery in Misissippi.
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