Emerging Out of Our Covid Caves
Find your story. Then commit to your new direction of travel.
In mythology, an initiation story involves a descent into the Underworld. We leave the familiar behind and enter the realm of death and shadows. We may be dismembered, stripped to our bones, tasked with solving riddles we don’t fully understand.
Our old ways just won’t do here.
As good hero(ine)s we dig deep within. We make a discovery about ourselves. Perhaps a quality we didn’t know we had. Or some aspect of our life that really matters. We’re offered help. With any luck, we find a nugget of gold hidden in the dark.
Eventually we journey back into the daylight world. Things may look the same but we feel different.
Now begins the task of integration. How do we bring our discovery into the busy world of day-to-day human life?
The gift of an initiation is intended to be shared with the world.
Take Time to Integrate
The Buddha became enlightened under a bodhi tree. He spent the next weeks quietly observing the spot where he sat. It was only when two passing laypeople struck up conversation that he began to teach what he had understood.
On the Camino to Santiago — a loong walking pilgrimage route through Spain- I met a woman walking it backwards. Back in the days before fast travel, she said, the epic journey back home was how you integrated all that you had learnt and experienced on the way there.
This time we’re in feels so valuable for reflecting on what’s happened for you during Covid. There was likely loss, change and transformation. We are also still in the process.
It helps me to put my experience into a story form. Stories help us to digest lived experience — and to share what we have learnt.
Speaking our story out loud and being compassionately witnessed is the single most validating thing we can do for ourselves.
Find a friend, a partner or a group to do this with. Some prompts that I like below, more here:
It all started when…..
I was surprised by….
I lost ….. and found/chose….
What is emerging right now is….
No story is too small or insignificant. I once worked with two activists in Istanbul on their stories — one was a fighter on the protest frontlines, the other was a supplies guy. He was tormented by feelings of inadequacy because fear stopped him from being on the barricades.
It took telling his story for him to realise that he was every bit as needed.
We all have a place. Our fears have a place. Your story is valuable exactly as it is.
Then Commit to Your Direction of Travel
This story is ongoing. There is still so much we don’t know.
You likely have a glimmer of your new direction of travel (different work, more showing up for the things you care about, more impact, healthier living) but the path from Here to There may as yet be unclear.
Old ways may suddenly reassert themselves in this void. I often start working with people determined to make a career change, for example, who then suddenly receive a promotion or are offered a salary raise.
Commitment is key. Can you think of one little way you can anchor this new direction?
This is why I love an iterative mindset. You don’t have to come up with a polished, perfect package. You can just do or offer one little thing — and see. See whether you enjoy it, first of all. And secondly, see how the world responds. Remember what it was like to play! This is primarily an information-gathering exercise and anything you learn is helpful.
I had a teacher who said that what you most want is just enough positive feedback to keep you going — and just enough questions to help you grow.
Then adjust and take the next little step. With the most compassion for yourself that you can muster. This is how new stories are built.
